Cadbury mini-eggs are in my opinion, the only easter candy worth eating, besides the odd Peep here or there– just for old time sake if you can choke one down, or if you enjoy the taste of stale styrofoam (yellow chicks only, none of this purple bunny non-sense). This year, I happened upon a new version of mini-egg– dark chocolate– and as predicted, they were a hit… my roommates and I finished off the whole bag in 2 days. Sadly, when I went back to Safeway to restock they were nowhere to be found, their inferior bastard cousins the milk chocolate mini-eggs parading around as if dark chocolate had never existed!
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(Prepare yourself for a ridiculous and completely tangential sidenote… I hope you are not religious- please disregard the following comments if they offends you… written in name of humor only and not by any means out of malice…)
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Sacrilege! Really, what would Jesus say?! I’m pretty sure he’d say ‘Where the hell are my dark chocolate mini-eggs?!’ just as I did. They are in fact a divine dessert, and I can say with 99% certainty that they must have been at the last supper (since it was right around Easter afterall). Or maybe Safeway ran out then too, which is why Jesus rolled over in his grave a few days later.
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I tried to hunt them down again on numerous occasions but all subsequent ‘easter egg hunts’ proved futile, and highly disappointing, so I turned to the internet- which should be everyone’s first line of attack for anything nowadays. The only place I could find them was on ebay, so bought 3 bags.
3 weeks later they had still not arrived and I was starting to go through severe withdrawl and anxiety. I checked the status online and they had been delivered to my address in San Diego!!!! What horror! The new tenants must have promptly inhaled my precious mini-eggs!
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As any self-respecting victim of tragedy should do, I turned my sadness into anger and called up the La Jolla post office to inquire why the package had not been forwarded to my new address, as I had specifically instructed them, and to demand replacement or reimbursement of the lost goods. They informed me that the package had been forwarded a few days prior. Rejoice! Hope is not lost! I patiently awaited as my mini eggs made their pilgrimage through San Diego, to the Mission (my first forwarding address in San Francisco) and finally over to Haight, a long arduous trek of thousands of miles and weeks of turmoil.
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Luckily, none of the handlers knew of the contents (or they probably never would have made it to their final destination, in my tummy) and despite being marked “fragile” their candy coating shells are smashed to pieces, but still divinely tasty. A much anticipated happy ending 
The remaining 2 bags will be rationed carefully.
The remaining 2 bags will be rationed carefully.
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